THE ART OF LETTING GO
“May the Petals teach me the art of letting go”
So what do you call a person who is in the middle of the extreme hoarders on TLC and people who just throw away everything with no care in the world?? When you find out let me know coo?
Ye I am the person closer to the hoarder side BUT I AINT CRAZY LIKE THEM I SWEAR LOOOL!! I just LOVE keeping memories, looking over things, reminiscing. I have my report cards from kindergarten and on going grades, yas I am very much THAT girl! I can watch a movie or a show that I love a gazillion times. Every time I have had to move my mom is like begging me to go through my stuff and throw out what I don't need and I often tell her there is nothing to throw away looool as you can tell we are opposites there and it grinds her gears.
( Most things in our storage are my things ::shrugsshoulders:: sue me loool).
Nonetheless, you can imagine my memory then is of course sharp so I remember a lot and hold onto a lot which is a blessing and at times a curse.
__________________
Sometime in April, I had the most random thought about Lot's wife. Lol yes I know strange right, like I wasn't doing a bible study on Genesis, hadn't heard a preaching none of that, I just really started thinking about her like I knew her from back in the day. I’m like “Yo! that absolutely sucks that she got turned into salt just for looking back".
The joke is I could relate, my I need to know, I want to see ass would have turned to look at the burning city without hesitation. However, can we really blame her though?! That was her home, her city, the place she met with the ladies to wash laundry, the place she gave birth to her daughters, where she laid by her husband or danced in the street and now she is supposed to just look forward like it didn't mean anything?!!! Like come on! You would turn back too!
The word that God had been speaking to me that week and is resounding again as this year is drawing to a close is about looking ahead and moving forward.
2020 on a global scale has been UNREAL, year of vision is the understatement of the year. Fears of WW3, the loss of giants like Kobe, Gianna, Chadwick, Sean Connary, the COVID-19 global pandemic, lockdown and all its antics, loss of jobs, virtual everything , economic crisis, food insecurity, the rising tensions of racism in first world countries, the fires burning in African countries and the list goes on and on. It literally felt like we were in the game Jumanji ( if you have never watched this movie, I beg. stop, go and watch then come back... Oh! I mean how?? and the original please). It felt like the year would never end. Yet here we are in December closing a chapter to a most unprecedented year.
On a personal level though, 2020 has been a year of wonder and God's providence, a manifestation of all the work in a prior season of obscurity coming to the fore, taking risks and seeing it pay off. Yet even among the balance of the good and bad, the message remains: LOOK AHEAD AND LET GO. In April when I had the thought about Lot's wife, I did a little digging into that particular scripture and broke it down and I want to share a bit of my findings. For those unfamiliar with this bible story it is found in Genesis 19.
Sodom and Gomorrah is not it at this time, like God isn't having it and He wants to wipe it off the face of the earth Thanos style. Abram beseeches God to give them a chance to save at least the righteous ones that is including Lot and his family. All in all, though God granted that grace there is none ( like they couldn't find not one family aside from Lot's which should again give you the understanding of the grave depravity in the cities). Angels literally had to pull them out and when they did, they told Lot and his family to run to the nearest wilderness lest they get wiped away. Lot says he can't go there but there is a small village they can take refuge at. The angels grant the permission but they say something I found pivotal in vs 21: " All right" the angel said, I will grant your request. I will not destroy the little village.
But hurry! Escape to it, for I can do nothing until you arrive there".
Various revelations come to mind,
a.) The angel could be referring to the fact that until they moved, the angels would be delayed in them destroying Sodom and Gomorrah until they go to the village,
b.) It is also possible and this is what stood out to me that the angel cannot do anything for them until they reach that village.
It made me think of the pain and delay of looking back. God cannot push forward to the next while you are busy looking back. He cannot take you to the next level if you do not move to the next. For a memory collector, Miss hold onto the little good I get, review all the bad I endure in cycles, this word was heavy.
The reason it is so easy to hold on to the past is because of the element of certainty and the fear of change. The promise of safety and the fear of the unknown has us clinging to what is and was, meanwhile internally there is a tug of war occurring between our old self and the next season of life. A decision has to be made to either endure the pain of staying the same or the pain of change. Almost like snakes we have to recognize and almost accept in the natural human cycle the act of shedding is part of the requirement of our life journey. Removing old layers of self to make room for the new and to shape us for the next season we are to embark on.
_____________
To let go is to TRUST that what is ahead is better than what you are leaving behind. It takes one step. You won’t have all the answers but FAITH REQUIRES ACTION.
Your job is to move, His is to act.
Your job is to trust, His job is to fulfill.
Your job is to let go, His job is to restore.
Your job is to release, His job is to expand.
There is an urging for me to look ahead, I know the past hurts, and there are some answers I don’t have, but I can't afford to be Lot’s wife.
Don't risk looking back and severing your future. It was a hard, literal message, but it was needed to have a visceral impact in the lives of that family and us the future readers of that word. How many countless times have you and I missed out on a opportunity whether that be a person, thing or advancement because you are living in the past? No more chile! We got to keep moving!
As this is the last post for the year, what I hope to leave with you as we journey into the next season is the art of letting go; Trusting there is more on the other side.
It seems like you have lost all control, but you haven't, you have just entrusted it in the hands of someone greater and wiser.
Until 2021,
XOXO
Yours Truly,
Barbara Otabil
