1-800-WAKE UP!

“You are not for everybody and that is a blessing....the work is never in vain”

— Barbara Otabil

It's a funny thing being an "influencer" i still quite honestly cringe at the name and prefer content creator but it does not take away the fact that i am in a position to influence.

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Hello beautiful people, I cannot believe summer is literally coming to an end and September is just around the bend. This summer, I really took to just being present, enjoying each day as it comes, spent a month in the NY Tristate ( check out my Instagram for my NYC recap), bonded with friends, worked towards my other goals for the year and of course writing down my thoughts.

When I decided to get back into blogging last year, there were things I was certain of.

One, that would remain true to myself, to speak honestly and allow my vulnerability to meet people where they were at.

Two, to challenge how people seen themselves and inspire a collective of people to live bold and with intentionality.. To live in purpose.

Finally, that I would serve my SPHERE OF INFLUENCE diligently and with excellence whether that be 2,000 people or 200,000 people, my effectiveness would not be dependent on the quantity of people but the quality of work I consistently put out.

When we speak about a SPHERE OF INFLUENCE, it is an understanding that every person has a realm of who they will connect to, something like your target audience, people that you are assigned to that will be impacted by the things that you do. It is not to say that you cannot reach beyond this, but your impact will take root in those spaces.

This is why we cannot  lose sleep on who is or isn't paying attention, trying to mould yourself in just being a crowd pleaser, you loose potency trying to spread yourself thin to reach the masses just to fit in, to later be dismissed by the very people you are trying to appease. We are not meant for everyone and that is a blessing!!

Why is that a blessing? It gives us a clear, targeted vision of where and who we should place our focus and energy on. It allows us to be effective or what I like to say potent in our actions.

Do you ever notice how certain people are drawn to you,  connected and committed to you. They learn or are inspired by you and no not just some fan club but people who are moved to action by what you do. It brings to question what is "influence" and how do we measure impact in a day and age where metrics and algorithms set the standard.

How do you really know you are making a difference and not just taking up space?

I admit, at times I really wonder, if what I do is fruitful, if it matters? Sometimes the metrics just don't match up to the effort put in to create content and I can't help but feel discouraged. I definitely can't be the only one, don't leave me  out here hahaha. Seriously, keeping up with the algorithms can be exhausting and draining and can quite frankly put the fire out of your ambitions. However, if outside validation is your only source of nourishment, you will be hungry for the rest of your life. Likes, views and shares are only surface level layers of impact.

True influence and impact are not measured in these factors but by the actions people take from what you pour out. It can be a simple as someone thinking about what you said, to something as large as acting on the very thing that inspired them. It can be how they treat someone with kindness, purchasing an item you recommend or as large as how they chose to forgive someone or being a resource to a multitude of people. Being a person of influence is being a catalyst to someone's life, impacting how they view something and giving them the opportunity to create an action.

The catch is you may never know that you impacted someone, they may never tell you and this is why it is important for us to remember the work is never in vain for that simple fact. You just will never know the true extent of your impact. We often say to “give people their flowers while their are alive” but we cannot hinge our purpose on people's recognition of our gifts. The praise and applause will fade away, the recognition, shares and follows will decrease but stay true to your WHY. Why you started, why it matters and why you must continue.

 I cannot tell you how many times I have had random people, people I never even thought was watching or reading my stuff tell me how it inspired, touched or motivated them and my consistency keeps them going. You just never know who is watching.  So I entitled this post 1-800- WAKE UP, to reset the expectations of what being an influencer is. You are an influencer in your everyday life, not what is done on social media alone. You are a influencer in your home, at work, with your friend groups, at your internships. So WAKE UP, Answer the call and do what you have been burdened, inspired and motivated to do. It is not the time to give up , it is time to step on the gas and keep working with a spirit of excellence, keep pushing, keep going. Go back and read that journal entry, your business plan, that chat, be reminded of what truly matters. We are now in the 4th quarter, time has started on the clock, get back on the court!

UNTIL OUR NEXT POST

XOXO

DESERVING

“You are worth finding. Worth knowing. Worth loving. You are deserving of good things. ”

— Unknown

One of the things that truly holds us back is our perception of what belongs to us and quite frankly what we deserve.

Ever notice how hard it is to accept a compliment, or to put yourself out there or even be hopeful that you land in a particular position? It's like yehh that belongs to you but me? Nah like forget it.

Ladies and gentlemen….We need to CUT IT OUT!

SAY IT WITH ME... I DESERVE GOOD THINGS....I DESERVE TO LIVE A BLESSED LIFE.... I AM WORTHY OF JOY AND SPLENDOR. 

Now this time around, I want you to go back and believe the words you just said and rehearse it a couple more times with conviction. We need to renew our minds to believe that we deserve the best in life whatever our "best" is supposed to look like.

This week I've been watching the tv series "All American". I've been really  digging this show and of course I'm late to the party in watching it lol allow me please!

Though it highlights the very real struggles of being a black man or woman in society, there is also a very consistent theme in which people of colour automatically believe they do not deserve more in life and the moment they reach out for more they are either leaving others behind, feel they are better than others or believe it is too good to be true that they begin to battle internally with accepting the good that occurs in their life without apology.

We see it now with the rise of channels and influencers highlighting black luxury and making it ok to want more for oneself.

The question is why do we inherently believe so little of ourselves? Are we truly so accustom to struggle and bad things that it is that unrealistic to hope for more? And more importantly what is the true impact of this type of thought process in our lives?

While there are various layers to this from colonialization, false humility, bad doctrine and philosophies being preached, I'm going to focus in on SELF SABATOGE and DISAPPOINTMENT

Quite simply, Self sabotage is defined as the behaviours and thought patterns that hold you back and prevent you from your goals or objectives. In essence it pokes a hole in the reservoir that contains hope and faith and develops an unrealistic picture of self. As a result, we practically eliminate ourselves from opportunities, overlook possibilities and what is worse we SETTLE! We settle for the lies, settle for the bad relationships, settle for the mistreatment of friends and co workers, settle to be underpaid, unappreciated and taken advantage of. What is worse is that WE teach others to treat us in this way and spread this teaching to the next generation.

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 Self sabotage deprives you from the live you deserve but disappointment that settles in your heart and spirit is deadly. It will stifle your ability to grow, move or even try, leaving us much worse than when we were disappointed initially. We dismiss help or advice from people who really mean well for us. Spiritually, it generates a self sufficiency that prevents God from doing His thing… which is leading. You being the clay and Him being the potter. I've lived in the land of disappointment and hurt long enough to know that it strips and breaks you down. Its fuel for a moment but nothing more.

The truth is you are deserving of more than what you are living and convincing yourself right now. That means grabbing a hold of joy, peace and contentment. It means grabbing a hold of that work opportunity, creative project or business prospect. It means going on that trip, getting that bag luxury or not, enjoying the everyday moments

It is believing what God's word says about you, that you are the head and not the tail, that you are fearfully and wonderfully made, that nothing can separate you from His love, that you are important and beloved, that you are no longer desolate but fruitful! That you are here on purpose and not a mistake!

It is still the season to expect more from God.

It is still the season to be victorious in what you do and not be tired and complacent,

It is still the season to expect miracles in your finances,

It is still the season to be wealthy and be a lender and not a borrower,

It is still the season to build on the vision as a CEO,

It is still the season to get your credentials,

It is still the season of restoration in relationships,

It still the season to help others,

 It is still the season of walking into the promise of the blessing,

 It is still the season to believe and have hope.

Until next time,

XOXO

BETTER THAN I IMAGINED

“...and everytime i try to be, what someone else has thought of me, so caught up, I wasn’t able to achieve. But deep in my heart, the answer it was in me. And I made up my mind, to define my own destiny”

— Lauryn Hill

One thing I get asked a lot is “how did I get so comfortable turning 30 last year so much so to generate a project to that level?

First off, a girl had no choice but to turn 30 lmao, not Benjamin Button over here. All jokes aside, this question is definitely heavy because by this age I should be married, popped a child or two by now, gotten maybe a masters or PhD by now. Possibly purchased my second home, curate a thriving side hustle and have 100k in the bank. I could keep a running list of all the expectations placed on my shoulders by society, culture and myself. I’m sure if you were to stop in this moment you could draw a lengthy list as well.

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In December 2019 I had a sort of silent  breakdown because life just was not calculating the way I needed it to. I pivoted career wise, stopped working, was working through a difficult breakup, my relationship with God was in another level that just felt very deep and scary all at the same time and dealing with church hurt just to name a few.

This is not what I planned  nor signed up for?

This is G-H-E-T-T-O 😂😂  where is my refund on this thing called life.

The funny thing is though very uncomfortable I was excelling. By the end of that semester I was hitting a 3.8 GPA in my graduate certificate program, though not working, was able to pay my bills, pay off my tuition and stay afloat, had peace beyond comprehension, healing and restoration and a new vision and hope. A tighter sister circle and tribe and a fierce determination.

It was not expected but it was better than I imagined.

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I don’t know if you have these type of friends around you but my girls stay putting me on some good food or experiences. At first I think they are boosting but then I get a bite and it just hits! Not expected but better than I imagined.

See, we come into this life with the little knowledge we have and are immediately tied to a portfolio of suggestions from society, culture, religion, family, social media and the like drowning us with directions “we must take”. Filling us with ideals and pictures of what success and happiness and even purpose must look like before we even understand who and what we are. Let alone what God has for us. Leaving us with a litter of broken, lost, unsatisfied individuals roaming the earth.

Where did we pick up the pieces to the puzzle of our lives. Is that the picture we are supposed to be building in the first place?

For some people they catch the vision right away and work through it. Others like me who are stubborn lool have to endure some massive breakdowns. I often link these moments down to my faith because it brought me the clarity I needed and bears the fruit I have today.

I had made a decision in early Jan 2019 that I was going to surrender my thoughts and plans and let God do Him, like really let Him do Him aka move myself out of the driver’s seat. If you are wise enough, you know said prayers are not made lightly because chilee it will feel like you are loosing everything that once made sense. In dramatic form, that is exactly what happened, God broke everything down in an instant! “Destroy to rebuild “ is what He told me before stripping me bare and it was HARD. Believers love to make this process seem so promising and easy; beloved, it was not and definitely not something I could endure without God. Fast forward to December and my breakdown I got a revelation from a sermon I was watching called “Its not what I pictured” by Steven Furtick.

This is a direct exert from my journal at that time:

“build what God put inside of you for the picture He sees. Switch the picture Barbara be who God called you to be, celebrate what He has given you, pull everything close that you do have, love on that and make the most of it. Yes it may be different for some time but God pictured it all along, Isaiah prophesied the virgin birth 100s of years prior, God was already building the picture 42 generations in, God knew the picture. If you get too tightly zoomed into this one scene, this one moment, this one struggle or this one issue you are going to miss the bigger picture. God knows where to put you, He knows what He put in you, and He knows what He wants to do through you. Do what He last told you!”

Right when my faith was fading He switched my perspective. Right when I was about to be frustrated again he changed the frame. He challenged my picture of self, challenged my plans so that I had no other choice but to hold on to His word and voice. Spark faith enough to believe he had better for me than what I could imagine.

Change your perspective. Lay aside the false narratives of who you are supposed to be and embrace who you are NOW. What is success for one is not success for another. Love yours!

I am who I am and that is my power. You are who you are and that is your power. Trust me once you open up and embrace what is truly for you… it will be better than you imagined.

God is the most profound painter because with His word he births out and with His hand He forms the most exquisite things.. You and me.

Check out this fire clothing line I had the honour of being a part of. Click on button below to head straight to the website!

MAKE ROOM

“There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection”

— Steve Maraboli

My eyes ain't used to these rays

I'm feeling exposed, but I hide no more

I can't hide

As the sun shines on all of my glory

My flaws don't look so bad at all

What was I so afraid of?

Every part of me is beautiful

And I finally see I'm a work of art

A masterpiece

Who is this I've tried so long fight?

Filling my heads with lies that I'm not good enough

Then I heard something in my ear

Tell I'm perfect, now that I know the truth

Time to show and prove

Masterpiece by Jazmine Sullivan

Mistakes....Failure....Falling apart...Not meeting the mark....striving... Exhaustion....self doubt

Words I'm sure we are all familiar with, even battle with to date.

The thorns in our side that prick us every time something beautiful is about to bloom in our lives

The silent killers that whisper and keep our minds up at night and dance over us in the day

How do we get out? How do we turn off these very loud realities that come to us EVERY SINGLE DAY.

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I have been in this place more times than I can count wheew! Constantly seeking perfection, pouring into my work to reach the A plus, the goal, the career, the man even. Using all my strength and wits to get what I was seeking and been disappointed, hurt or dismayed.

It's funny because as a woman and a black woman at that, we have been plagued with this ideal that we are not allowed to fall apart, we do not have the space to "not get it", to not make mistakes because we have to try " twice as hard to get half". There is no room to breathe or try new things. We are not afforded the right to "fail fast" to learn and grow.

Today, I want to refute this way of thinking and I am so glad that we live in a time that , we as black women can stand in the truth of our vulnerability, enjoying luxury, take a break, knowing you will not loose out. That you are worthy even when you are broken! I can refute this because the God that is greater showed me that it is possible through the beauty of "grace".

Grace in its definition is a spiritual gift that involves love and mercy given even when we don't deserve it. How does that look broken down?

• Spiritual gift - a gift is something that is given freely- nothing that you earned by merit, work or personal strength and by its nature, not a gift that is crafted or bought by man but given fully from God

• Love and mercy - Love is a deep intense affection for someone that is not surface level but a commitment that runs deep coupled with mercy; the act of compassion and forgiveness given by one with the power to give it

• Given when we don't deserve it - Provided even when you don't measure up, meet the mark, where you have made mistakes and failed

Grace is making room to be imperfect and flawed in a space filled with love. It is the created space where you can lay down any pretenses and just be without judgement. We afford this to so many other people and rarely do we allow ourselves this space. We are our hardest critics and toughest judges but we allow others to walk all over us. We are more willing to give grace to others who may have wronged us but give our own selves no measure of mercy when we fail or don't accomplish a certain thing. We replace love & compassion with drowning in self pity, self doubt and self hate which is stifling our ability to live freely in our purpose.

We need to make room for grace!

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Grace requires two things: surrender and acceptance. We cannot see how grace can fully work in our lives if we don't surrender our own negative ideals and accept that we too deserve a measure of grace.

. Acceptance that it may not be perfect but it is worth everything you are becoming and what is to come. Surrendering the notion that you must kill yourself to get " there" wherever there is. Accepting that the imperfections and failures make you better and surrendering the notion that there is only one way to achieve what has been laid on your heart.

Giving yourself grace opens way more doors than bullying yourself ever will. It gives you the chance to grow, to build yourself up and heal and more importantly the willingness to accept help and insight.

In truth, this post has been the hardest one to write because giving myself grace is still a work in progress for me. I know what it means to second guess yourself at your job even when you are doing phenomenal, second guess if you are making an impact and walking in purpose or even feel shaken with the decisions you intend to make. It had to become an  intentional decision requiring me to change my perspective on how I saw myself and love myself. Greater than that,  how I view God's love for me, gives way for me to accept the grace He is offering me. So these words, I don't say lightly, but with the experience to assure you it makes a difference.

Today's takeaway is a simple affirmation that I want you to repeat to yourself daily

 

I am worthy of good things

I am not my mistakes

I deserve to give myself grace

Until next post

XOXO,

THE EVOLUTION

“Let your knowledge lead to action and not a catalogue of facts”

— Unknown

HEAR YE! HEAR YE!  PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT OF THE YEAR:

YOU HAVE THE PERMISSION TO NOT FIT SOMEONE ELSE'S STANDARD. YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO CHANGE, GROW & EVOLVE!

( Now before we get carried away this is not permission to be rude, elitist, dismissive, not be a good friend or neglect your responsibilities. Let's be easy now haha)

Swinging right from the gate this fine day I know! Hahaha, hello beautiful people!  

It has been a minute y'all. It has been a good but crazy couple weeks, that the space to even sit and just write clearly was not happening. While I strongly believe in being consistent in content creation, I also believe in quality over quantity. Writing and more so words are powerful tools and have to be measured as such, so I have to make sure what I write isn't wack and you get something out of your 5-10 min read for the day.

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 Now, in a world that can be judgmental, temperamental and short minded, self- growth sometimes gets lost in the shuffle.

I found myself thinking about who I was 1 year ago, 2, 5 even 7 years ago and my, wheew! What a change! So much has occurred that has literally shaped my life, but who would I be, if I did not evolve and grow in those moments, shoot or even recognize that they were moments worth acknowledging?

Its crazy how "used to our own selves" we get that we don't even see the need to grow until situations place us in a corner pushing us to go a different route. 

Serious question though.... what if we did not always wait for life to push us to change and instead seek growth as part of our natural cycle? I know we naturally live to avoid conflict, hardship or discomfort, but what if we embraced it with a more open mind? Would we be better or worse for it?

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So fun fact, I am a shameless Marvel/MCU, sci-fi/ fantasy fan, like Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones are my top favourite movies/tv shows.

Not everyday reality show or drama sometimes alternate universe yeh? LOOL

A common theme that resides very strongly in these genres is that their characters usually embark on some journey, are then assigned a mission or task, encounter challenges, defeat enemies and all that good stuff to get to a profitable, momentous end ( minus Game of Thrones Season 8 eps 5 going, it still hurts and we are not going to talk about it) lol, nonetheless, these experiences take the characters especially our main protagonists through a process of self-development and by the time they reach their intended end, they are different from who they were at the beginning.

Some might say, they have EVOLVED.

Evolution by definition is: the gradual development of something; the way in which living things change and develop over time.

As living organisms , it is part of our natural process to develop and evolve.  In fact if we do not, it is considered abnormal and a sign of something wrong that needs further investigation.  Funny, that in our physical state that is understood but emotionally, spiritually, mentally and practically we do not embrace the evolution of self. Yet in contrast, we are reaching for more; more love, more acceptance, more opportunities, more money, more ventures just more, yet we don't want to grow and change to achieve it. Why is that? How can the two be at such opposite sides.

A couple of things come to mind:

• Obvious notion, but we rarely want to grow because growth means change and change means discomfort

• Stifled by the viewpoints of others

• Our pasts shackling us down

• Fear of the future is a real thing. As the infamous quote states, " our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us"

• Low self esteem

You may not realize it but your " next" is tied to your willingness to grow.

When I think about what my next steps are, in my career, as a blogger and content creator, business woman, as a daughter, friend, partner, lover etc., I have to ask myself WHO AM I BECOMING to achieve these things.  Am I willing to grow, invest and sacrifice to not just gain these things but SUSTAIN them? How am I embracing the time and process to get there? How am I evolving to be the woman I want to see in the mirror?  

I think more than ever in this time, we are simply not asking ourselves these questions enough. More identities are getting lost, people are forfeiting opportunities, cancel culture has people stifled and approval seeking from insignificant people have people stagnant.

Remember, life is lived forward but understood backwards, how does your story sound looking back?

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It is God’s desire that we grow and mature not to the point of not needing Him, in fact needing him more, but to expand our call, to give you more grace to handle the next, to entrust in you the next vision and fun fact:  You cannot be trusted with what is next if you are not at the level of maturity to sustain it!!

Can God trust you with what is next? Even more basic, can your company trust you, friends or family, community leaders etc? How have you evolved from being a novice student to a progressing individual, not one of perfection?

• To evolve requires 3 things:

  1. SELF AWARENESS

  2. SUBMISSION AND PRUNING

  3. TIME

• Are you a good investment? Can God place in your hand a vision and work it through or do you just want to have things?

• You have been redeemed, your experiences will shape your perspective but they should not shackle you. God wastes nothing

• For those fearful of elevation, what it costs and what it means know that you have permission to be on a new level. To step away from things and people that no longer serve your journey. You have permission to make the sacrifices necessary to be potent and fruitful in your season.

• The most beautiful aspects of our lives is not the things we attain, but the people we become through it all.

Until Next time,

XOXO

FACE TO FACE

“Fear casts such a large shadow, but fear itself is small”

— Ruth Gendler

Starting off, this week was a madness and so to be honest this piece was a lot harder to write because the conviction was surprisingly so timely, it also threw me off. Here I am preparing to speak about our views on fear and how it is a stop gap not just in our pursuit to our calling but our understanding of self and I am out here casually entertaining the fear of failure like we planned a dinner date this week!

So my delays for this week in launching my post then turned into reflection points, moments where I needed to go back to the source, which for me is going to God, reading my vision plan/ affirmations to then readjust my vision, face my fear and do it anyway. Right there, off the rip is the formula to facing fears but let's break it down a little more easily.

The quote above is something that truly resonated with me. " Fear casts a large shadow but is itself a small thing".

Just sit with that for a second, what does that mean to you?

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Because it is certainly not to say that fear ISN'T REAL, because fear is real, heck our body uses fear to warn us to act, to be aware of a potential threat, but when fear moves beyond that, it becomes crippling, paralyzing even shooing us in a corner we don't want to get out of. It is dark and invasive. Plagues our minds, cuts of the oxygen to our growth. It holds a power over us that gone unchecked will unravel every good thing in our lives going forward.

Fear is such a complex concept because it is generated from various places.

STORYTIME!

Like most black people in my time, I had a fear of drowning. Yes I am coming for all you stay by the poolside folk, go to the pool party and do everything BUT swim yes you! LOL, ok no for real, I developed a fear of drowning because there was a period when I was young, I truly loved the water, I could float easily, swim with friends, then one summer my daycare took us to Ontario Place. For those who aren't from the Greater Toronto Area, Ontario Place was THE waterpark to go to. I was so excited to go on the rides and swim in pools. As I had gone down one of the slides and into the water, some man decided my head would be his stabilizer to get out of the pool and essentially dunked me into the water unknowingly! I was like 6 or 7, and this man was using my head as a prop, I could not breathe while trying to fight to get from under his grip.

Finally made it out, but it scared me to death that this once safe place I could be in was suddenly not! Fast forward to years after, willing to go into pools but never getting deep enough to feel out of control or to create another possibility to drown. In my adult years, I was like nah I refuse to first of all be the stereotype, secondly, I want to snorkel in peace, enjoy the beach in peace etc, so I enrolled in swimming classes at my big, big age! In my third class, my swimming instructor was like we are going to do something different today, I’m like cool because at that point we had been in the deeper shallow end. He started walking closer to the deep end and I was like, hold up where are we going? He was like you will see. Y'all....

We ended up at the deep end and I looked at him like he was crazy. He then proceeded to tell me to jump in. I laughed and I was like nah, haha, not happening. He was like I will be in there with you trust me, you won't drown. I was like nope not happening. He was alright, he then brought a pole and put it in the pool and said, I want you to touch the bottom of the pole and use it to guide you down. Suddenly, it felt manageable. I had something to hold onto. So I did it, I went into the deep end  and climbed down the pole and came back up. He then asked me if my perception about how deep the pool was changed. It had. It was no longer this evasive deep place, I literally had climbed down it. It was not as deep as I thought it was, not as scary… I could do it.

OK, so much to unpack from that.

First thing,  fear is not inherited, fear is taught and learned. See children are not birthed with fear out the womb, which is why most parents spend most of their time telling their kids " stop", "no", "don't touch" because kids do not have the life experiences to determine what is safe or not safe. They are not jaded by past experiences, they easily trust and do things without a second thought. Studies have shown that pediatric patients survive a lot more chronic diseases like cancer, because of their positive mindset and belief. They, unlike adult patients are more willing to have faith and believe for better outcomes, whilst adult patients allow the past and realities shape their beliefs more vividly. When I was younger, I had no concept of drowning until it happened to me, the problem was I kept reliving that experience EVERY time I got into the pool. I brought my past with me everywhere. Our past does not dictate our future but that is only true if we learn how to learn from it and let it go. The upside to all this is, if fear can be learned, it can also be unlearned.

Secondly, the weight of people's perception can instill or further drive fear. Many African/ African American kids can relate to their parent's screaming for them not to get into the water or else they will drown! This plays a huge factor in amplifying the fear itself but also stopped many from exploring how to swim in the first place.  We are highly influenced by the people around us especially those that are close. This is why especially when you are starting something, you don't just start talking about it right out the gate in its seed form, not out of superstition but with the understanding that the easiest way to crush a vision, dream, something you are pursuing is crush it at its seed form. With no seed there is no plant. The calling was not a community invitation, only you know what it looks like and people usually dismiss, downgrade or discourage what they do not understand! Fear is a seed, that can be further watered by people's words. Ask yourself where did this fear come from? Who spoke this over my life knowingly or unknowingly? What am I watching or listening to?

Lastly, we got to get up close to our fears, look at it face to face. When my instructor asked me to swim/ climb the pole in the deep end, he was asking me to look again at what I was afraid of and still do it.  Fear stems from a lack of clarity. Fear casts a large shadow which means to eliminate it, it needs LIGHT. We need to examine the fear a bit closer and get in deep. Perception is everything and unless you are willing to challenge it, it will lord over your life.

What are the things that give you light and clarity?

For me, its God, His word about me over my life, my goals that I write down, having a core group of people who know me and tell me the real, exposing myself to experiences and others who have been where I want to go. We never know what is possible until we see it being done! Get exposure, you cannot learn from a place of comfort. My instructor knew based on how I was performing in the shallow area that I could swim in the deep, He saw that before I did or believed it. That is how God sees you! The catch of him being the "Author and finisher of your faith" is that he knows far better what you are capable of and finds ways in this journey to guide you to that path so far as you trust Him. Faith, like fear is not inherited, it is learned. It is a muscle we build, it is a relationship developed that lets us step up the mirror and say, " though I don't know how, I am going to try it anyway".

Like Nike, "Just do it". You will never know unless you try.

There is this misconception that living boldly or courageously means you have no fear or doubt when in actual fact it’s quite the opposite. Those who live boldly or courageously chose instead to persevere and reposition the risk and the reward. If for nothing else, you will learn that you can do it and boy! are you dangerous when you believe you can!

 Until next time

XOXO

IN THE WILD

“It’s in the dark where you recognize the light, a stirring right before the release”

— Barbara Otabil

So I don't know about you, but often in work environments or in school, at some point you are asked the “what would you do or bring if you were stranded on an island” activity. While I can and will come up with a great strategic plan, personally ye? In reality, I don't want to be placed in that situation because I’m choosing to sleep lol wake me up when you find an escape plan or just lets figure this out within 12-48 hours max because I will lose my mind and that is hoping I am stuck on an island with somebody because....chile me alone? Nah, I hate the feeling of being stuck or stagnant and it is mainly because it feels like on top of having no where to go, the struggle accompanied in that time seems all for nothing if it is not to go somewhere “I” want to go. Wandering in circles with no progress or aim is the worst torture.

This of course got me thinking about “unprogressive seasons" in our lives. It led me to envision the Israelites who were "stuck" in the wilderness for 40 years before getting to the promise land. Jesus and His fasting and temptation test prior to his launch in ministry, my own season where it felt "stagnant" and then launching into my next. I noticed a pattern forming.

Just before the elevation there is a period where we are in the wilderness. A holding period that seems to be incredibly tough before the release.

It then begs the question. How do you decipher if you are in a wilderness season or just plain stuck? Followed by, is it possible, I have been misinterpreting the two and missing out on the lessons the wilderness season was intended to show me?

Oh yes y'all, newsflash, at some point or another you have been in a wilderness season known or unbeknown to you. It is part of this journey we call life and quite frankly needed.

Let's address the first question.

 ______________________

Wilderness season

• A place of isolation and unfamiliarity

  • It is not always about hardship, but a time of obscurity and it’s uncomfortable

  • Isolation also may not necessarily be physical but mental

• A place of hunger and pressure

• A time of maturing and growth. That means removal and pruning ( not fun)

• A place of renewal and intentionality not necessarily by you but from God. It is an intended place God has prepared for you

• A place of preparation and grace for the next

Being stuck:

• Primarily based on a perception in which you shouldn't be where you are

• May stem from comparison

• May arise from not learning lessons in the past and thus repeating similar mistakes in new ways

  • Notice any cycles?

• May be from how you are labelling your situation or trial and the power you are giving to it.

  • You may need to redirect your energy

With this in mind we can deduce that wilderness seasons are essentially a pruning season created by God to bring out the best for you and tools you need for your next. We often want elevation, new opportunities, relationships but are often carrying baggage, mindsets, skills and behaviours that will not fit our next. So we need as humans, periods in our journey where we must stop and shed. Sometimes it comes willingly and other times for stubborn people like me haha it comes forcefully. How we see however dictates how we move and now we can add onto that line, how we label the situation will determine the energy we give to it. God does not place you where you belong, He places you where you can grow! In the wild, you are desperate to survive, you are hungry! You can't use comfort tactics in here. You become resourceful, your eyes are sharper, your senses are much clearer. You realize you are capable for more and the pressure you are facing is not meant to disarm you, weaken you or take you out, but purify and strengthen you. Give you a thirst for more. It is the wilderness that exposes what you are made of on the inside. It harnesses the resolve you need for your next level.

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Now this may sound daunting but I promise you this is not the intent. The wilderness is a place curated just for you! Not for torture but for growth. God had you in mind when he created it, so your wilderness will look different from others but you will come out on the other side refined. Your feelings will mistake you to believe you are alone, but it is in this very placed you are more covered than you can imagine.  Understand that when God calls you to live in purpose and to do what you’ve been created to do,  He calls you to preparation first. He will never leave you hanging or drowning in the deep end, but He leads, so you must follow. You got to lean in and participate even in this season of pruning. Believe you me, it may feel confusing, frustrating, scary maybe even lonely, but you are more prepared for the wilderness than you think. We often underestimate what we possess and what God has already granted us, but the wilderness will make us remember. The wilderness will firm our roots that will guide us to our next.

Take a step back and look at what is currently happening in your life right now. What words are you using to describe what is going on. What is your posture? Are you resistant or are you surrendering to the season? Remember misdiagnosing your time in the wilderness may forfeit the blessing of your next. Don't get in a wheel of complaining instead ask what am I suppose to learn here, what am I suppose to be paying attention and giving my energy to?

Until next week

XOXO

THE LONG GAME

“Night cannot whisper away what was said in the light”

— "Never Lost" by All Nations Worship & Chandler Moore

Dear you,

I know you may be wondering....what is the point?

You are tired…frustrated, lost even.

Losing motivation to keep going. Hesitating to take those next steps, unsure where your feet may land

Disappointed that what you prayed for didn't come through

Or despite your very best, failure captured you.

I say to you....Remember why you started.

Dear you, 

Once hopelessly romantic

Now looking for love in various places

Missing the warmth of embrace, sweet whispers and smiles on your face

Crippled by broken promises, walls and space

Wondering if you will ever be cherished and worth it again

I say to you.....Remember you are deserving of true love. A gift first given from within then sought outward

Dear you,  

Hustling and grinding to survive,

Working without applause

To put a smile on the very face of the one you brought into this world

Determined by any means necessary to make a life

One that is full; full of truth, value, joy and being.

Creating a path for your sons and daughters to walk freely on

Not deterred by the insecurities of others projected onto your road to the promise land

I say to you.....Remember you are not your mistakes and you are amazing at what you do.

Dear you, 

Creative, business woman or man, corporate 9-5er

Working twice as hard as they,

Putting yourself out there, breaking from the mold, standing fearlessly in the sun

Wondering if anyone is reading, listening or watching

Wondering if you are lost in the shuffle

I say to you.... Your only competition is how you can be better than yesterday. Remember you are planted and not buried. Your time in the sun will come.

This week more than ever, I have been reminded of the importance of the long game. The reason why we keep doing the things we do in spite of the obstacles, fears and disappointments. Unless we are all mad in the head, we all are looking to build a legacy that lasts, that has roots that lives longer than the air in our lungs. Quite often, we get caught up wanting the instant fame, instant recognition and instant gifts. We are the microwave generation; whatever will get me there the quickest is what I want, but the things that remain… take time to build. Good things take time, investments take time to yield fruit and God... He is a man of His word. Whatever He said about you, decreed for you and promised you will come to pass.

____________________

So I am urging you today, do not give up! Lift your head up once again. If you need to rest, rest but don't stop. If you need to pivot, pivot and explore other avenues, if you need to wait, get grounded in the promise and ask what are you meant to learn in this space. If you feel burnout, get exposed to new things, ignite the fire once inside you; learn from those around you.

We were made to last and God is not done with you yet.

 XOXO

BECOMING OR SURVIVING?

“Vision gives you the audacity”

— Pastor Michael Todd

As I casually strut and slay into your Tuesday aka Wednesday now and whatever time in the day you are reading this, and do it so well I might add ::flips hair:: , let me check in and ask how you doing! I know it is a thing we ask in passing but genuinely how are you? Mind, body and spirit? Definitely write in the comments below or email, send a DM, I love when I hear from y'all. Nonetheless, we made it through the first month of the year! Arguably, the month where we are the "most intentional" and the most "focused". You have set your goals, created your vision boards, set your resolutions and all that good stuff and then February hits.....

Loool I am going to let you fill in the gap for what happens there hahaha.

Look, it happens to all of us, we go from being centered and focused to SURVIVAL MODE. We are just trying to make it through the week, put food on the table, make the deadlines and the once bright, illuminating goals are now daunting tasks that look unrealistic. Where does the fire go and why are we so quick to go into survival mode?  

And TRUST I get it! In 2019, my girlfriends and I had a running joke that  when we asked each other what was good we would say “we were just trying to make it” because it seemed like we were getting no reprieve. Just endless nonsense, hurt, frustration, closed doors you name it, it was happening. It literally blurs out the sun. There no longer is vision, you just want peace of mind, a night where you aren’t crying or pissed off, anxious or deprived of sleep. Who would have known these very moments were making us, fueling us, equipping us for who we were becoming.

 _______________

Lets be real rap raw. Purpose is scary. It was cute when you were in kindergarten being asked “what do you want to be”, but as an adult… it is daunting and no walk in the park! It becomes this looming question we seem to be chasing endlessly. On the flipside, isn't it crazy that at a young age you are expected to know who you are before you even understand yourself or know the world? We are mandated right from the very start to fit a role in society and answer the question who will you become?

I think there are various misconceptions about "walking in purpose". Various schools of thoughts from different beliefs but what is a shared notion, is that purpose is not about amassing accolades, putting notches in our belt, or simply attaining things. It is about the “WHO”. The character and integrity of the person behind what you do. 

There is nothing worse than being established on the outside and empty on the inside.

Who are we becoming underneath the accomplishments and recognition? Who is the person that is being formed underneath it all? It is the constant question of "why do we do what we do?" that we MUST position in our mind.  Purpose draws more from us than just who we are impacting, it calls us to refine the inner being in us. The line that separates those who are merely living to survive from those who understand the journey of becoming. It is the inner construction of the once deprived person becoming the true form in which God intended them to be, which is more like Him. His character that shines through our everydays. While you are hustling are you being considerate? While you are championing your cause are you serving? While building your business are you gaining wisdom and working in integrity? Not to just be a good person just for the sake of being known as a good person ( trust there is nothing worse than fake humility) but what we pour out of us must come from a nurtured place or else we are nice ornaments; seasonal and ineffective for the next season. Remember we were built to last.

When we better understand the person we are becoming, we better understand what we are meant to do.

It gives us the boldness and confidence to go after what we have been called to do without apology. Individuals who understand their calling do not just rise out of thin air, they have the audacity to see the vision come to life because they

a. Know their source, b. Know who they are and c. Recognize where they are meant to be and the lane that they are to walk.

It does not mean times don't get shaky, doubt doesn't arise, but what is inside matches what is put out. I've said this once and imma say it again, there is no external success without internal work. Trust and believe God cares more about who you are then what you are getting. I can even now think of particular instances where God stepped in and delayed me because I did not have the character to maintain what I was looking for. I did not have enough built inside to accredit what was to manifest outside.

Who you are becoming matters period point blank.

Until Next Week,

XOXO

MIRROR, MIRROR…

“The quieter you become the more you are able to hear”

— Rumi

Truth Moment!!

Yes, right off the bat no introduction!

I almost did not post this blog today (being Tuesday), I was cozy, watching episodes of Girlfriends after work on Netflix amazed by Joan's foolishness!

Sidebar: It is really interesting to watch these shows when you are older it holds a completely different context.

Aside from this distraction, I was feeling "meh" convincing myself it may or may not matter if I post this on Wednesday, “no one needs this right now”. Just as I was about to resign to my "feelings" I got convicted.

( LOL don't you just hate when that happens! URGH)

So clearly, someone needs this and that someone is probably me lool. As much as I write to share lessons learned, bouts of wisdom from experience, random thoughts and what I feel instructed to write, these posts are mirrors for me as well!

I have always had a love-hate relationship with writing because it was and is truly the place I am the most raw and honest with myself and sometimes that reflection is not easy to swallow. On these pages, I can be the most ugly, hurt, angry, disappointed, sad person I can be with no explanation to anyone but myself and God and accepted at that. On the flipside, I can be a dreamer, an architect building my dreams into reality one letter at a time. It is truly a beautiful process, this gift we called reflection, HOWEVER you would be surprised to see what else you may find on the page.

 ______________________ 

In the age of social media and with the newest outlet CLUBHOUSE,

(This where I have to admit I am glad I got an iPhone because I would be missing out on the drama, gems, discussions and information on clubhouse and if you do need an invite I have a couple just email or DM me ;-) )

EVERYONE has an opinion. We all got something to say about everything. Some of things we got to say is pretty wild but I digress lol. We can "piggyback", " to add on" " one mic" all day long if we could. The one thing that I do notice about clubhouse for example is that, if you are not certain about your viewpoint you can be easily swayed. The problem with that is if you are not anchored in your belief, you end up taking the voices and opinions of others to be your truth. This should not be conflated with being open minded and learning from others and having the right to change your mind, but as the old adage goes, if you do not stand for something you fall for anything.

We have to discover the art of balancing the voices.

The impact this has beyond the screen is where these opinions and voices rest. Where they seep into your mind and start sowing seeds. Where they begin to calcify your heart, where they begin to limit what you can or can't do and determine who you are. Once in a while, even when we are busy writing in our journals, voice noting or recording a video for ourselves, we must ask,

Who is speaking into my life? Whose words are these a reflection of?  Whose face is truly in the mirror that I am seeing? Is that my voice or my teacher who said I wouldn't amount to anything? Is it my voice or the friend who was secretly jealous and advised me out of her lack? Is it my voice or the ex partner that degraded me into nothing? Is it my voice or the family member who doubted my ability? Is it my voice or God's truth? And I Oop?

Too many opinions not enough truth.

More than ever, in today's society and climate, we need to develop a pattern of self reflection and self awareness. A pattern in which we can sit in the silence and weed out the noise. Where we can center ourselves and remove the veil from our eyes and see ourselves for who we are. Not what other's make us to be, not the validation from social media, not the critiques and not even the accolades. The core of who we are. Not for the sake of being "woke" but for the sanity of our souls, for the energy we put out, for the purpose in which we live and glorify God.

We need to ask ourselves, do these words that I keep circulating in my mind or write on the page hold weight or reflect what I believe? More importantly what do these words produce? Does it make me better even if it is harsh in the moment or does it have me spiraling in self doubt? Do these words comfort me to take action or enable me to be complacent?  Do these words help me be accountable or let me just do whatever I want with no consequence?  I know it is a lot of questions but my hope is that we begin to value what we hear and who we allow to speak in our lives.

My challenge for you this week is simple.

It is inspired by a close friend of mine whose therapist asked her to do the same and I absolutely loved it and implore you to participate.  Take 15 mins ( more if you can), grab a piece of paper or open a new page of notes on your phone. On one side write what other people see you as good and bad. On the other side write how you see yourself; good and bad.  Again not based on the opinions of others, your thoughts alone.

You will be surprised what list may be longer than the other. Possibly may incite you to spend a little more time with you asking yourself why you think this way. 

Until next week!

XOXO

ALL ON A WORD

“Words are singularly the most powerful force available to humanity”

— Yehuda Berg

If 2020 has taught us anything, it is that life can change on a dime. I believe it exposed a lot on what people depended on, what gave us security and maybe even identified this façade that we can control everything. More than anything, it forced us to hold onto something substantial to maintain our sanity.  

Our lives are a mashup of good times and fighting to stay above water. On top of that, we are blurred by situations that have us feeling hopeless, lost and confused.

However, what if there was a way to change not the situations we encounter, but our perspective?

I'm about to hit you with a cliché, but, as we know words are powerful things. History is remembered by the actions that were documented and the folktales that were sung. Creation itself for those who believe was created on a word. Words single handily make or break us and yet we use it so loosely. Growing up, it was my own words that was painting a false narrative of who I was and I believed it, stimulating my low self esteem.  On the flipside, it was also the means for me to push past the status quo and shift the trajectory of my life. Simply put, words have a power and a force to them.  

So imagine positioning a word that sets the stage or the tone for your season or year? A word that challenges, inspires, comforts and guides you? I'll let you ponder that for a second.

________________________

Let's get into SETTING THE TONE.

We can't sleep on this especially this 2021 after 2020 slapped us around. When I say set the tone, I am saying establish the direction you want to go. Establish what you want to see or manifest REGARDLESS of what will happen. We cannot afford to allow life to bully us around because at the end of the day ISH IS GOING TO HAPPEN beyond our control! And that’s on periodt!

What is in your control is your perspective, your attitude and your vision!  Set the tone; a determination that regardless what occurs, I will still my focus to see this through. It is not wishful thinking, it is how you anchor yourself or remind yourself what matters. A lot of us walk through life without an aim and a focus and it places us in a lot of unnecessary cycles that we actually have the tools within ourselves to remove or fix. This is where this mindfulness exercise " One Little Word" or your FOUNDATION word comes into play.

Now I don't know where this concept exactly came from, but again if you grew up in a religious environment this concept of themes is very popular. Aside from that, I came across "One Little Word" from a woman called Ali Edwards and I loved how she emphasized the importance of a single word. She states:  

" A single word can be a powerful thing

It can be the ripple in the pond that changes everything

It can be sharp and biting or it can be rich, soft and slow"

For her, this single word challenged her to have something to focus on, to craft with, reflect on and use as a reference point that she could document throughout the year. There is no limit to the type of word you want to choose, there is also no "right" word. It is completely contingent on you and what you're aim is. For some, in 2021, their word may be peace, boundaries for others it may be open, adventure or inspire.

 ___________________

Personally this exercise changed my life for the better. In 2020 my word of the year was to be "Expectant". I had felt disappointed in life so many times, irrespective of how ambitious I was and when it came to my faith, I really did not feel like God was hearing me or having my back. It is really where my faith started to wane because I would pray with a lot of doubt. Until in one of my times of meditation and prayer, I felt God pushing me to be “expectant”. To challenge my faith to see God come through for me. This then motivated me to be bold and specific with God in what I wanted to see. I couldn't just generalize what I wanted, I had to step out of my fear and say it plain plain! What ended up happening, is that it created the space for me to plan my goals in alignment with my word, it became a reference point when life was getting uncertain, it became my testimony at the end of the year that I could account and detail that it indeed came to past.

 ______________________

My words this year are: Distinction & Maintenance. Therefore my goals will be aligning in how I can be a woman of distinction in my career, in my creative spaces etc. Maintenance is the understanding that it is one thing to obtain something in faith but it is another level to maintain what you have asked and remain potent.

We state these words so we can see a new thing, set a new standard not based on the past, or mistakes or who was or was not there. We are training our minds to seek this with INTENTION. If you are looking to make progress in whatever sphere in your life, you need intention. As a reminder, we train our minds and tell it what to focus on, so if we intentionally position this word in our mind we will see it manifest, IRRESPECTIVE OF TIME, OBSTACLES, SITUATIONS, GOOD TIMES AND BAD. I have to emphasize that once again  these words are anchors.

An anchor is not moved by the pressures, waves or temperature of the water. It steadies the boat to protect the lives of those who are on it. These words we establish take on this role and the idea is that it will not be changed or  moved by the tides of life.  they remain throughout and are reminders and indicators of what we want to see. They are guiding tools, seeds we plant in our life that are watered by our actions.

 _______________________

Here are some words that you can thumb through. The important portion of this is taking this word and pondering , meditating/ praying about it. Let it settle , ask yourself why is this word important, what do I want to manifest from this.

 POTENTIAL WORDS: Balance, focus, thrive, open, play, organize, joy, peace, innovation, gratitude, integrity, action, rise, family, enlighten, Be, Brave, Fearless, Journey, Forgive, Create, Perseverance etc.

I am excited to hear your words, drop it in the comments below!

 XOXO

TIME & SEASONS

“If you understand time and season, trust me you will envy no one...”

— Unknown

Happy New Year Y'all!! Welcome to 2020 +1 Ey!!!! Mama we made it hahaha.

Totally kidding, I know it seems like the events are bleeding into the next year, but like foreal, did you think Covid was just going to clock out at 12am? LOOL, can you imagine!

Nonetheless, grateful and blessed to see another calendar year, in spite of the pitfalls of 2020, it was an illuminating year for the world and I am sure for you. For some, the start of the new year is a relief, for others it may feel daunting as heck! Both sentiments are totally ok, why?

Psst... Come a little closer... Ok not to close " its a pandemic"

Ok, ready? It's ok because the weight of our lives are not actually measured by calendar years or the number of times the world goes around the sun but by seasons. No, not the natural seasons i.e fall, winter, spring, summer but by the periods or stages in our lives in which we seamlessly move from one to the next or find ourselves looping and repeating as the years go by.

We grow up hearing the memory verse " there is a season for everything" or the old adage "trust the timing of your life" . Even lately we often see on social media, quotes and encouragement about not being stifled by age markers, or not feeling pressured to have everything all together at a particular time. Something has clicked in our generation, maybe its the increase of breakdowns and mental health crises surrounding concepts of success or meeting society's expectations and/or people just simply wanting more from their life than just checking boxes.

For me it was definitely the combination of the two. My type A personality hinges on accomplishing goals in a timely fashion, but I kept hitting a wall when certain things were not happening. It started feeding into my insecurities of not feeling enough, not being good enough, not having enough time! I also didn't want to just pass through life checking the boxes. Look, clearly I just wanted it all loool.

I then hit a low point, just absolutely frustrated about where I was and tired of feeling like a victim in my circumstance and that is when I got the revelation.

 ____________________

In my last Episode " Dear Queen", I mentioned that when I got my new notebook, I felt inspired to write down the full chapter of Ecclesiastes Chapter 3 in its entirety and it took a completely different form in my mind. I recognized true success came from recognizing the season I was in and actively participating in it. That may include being frustrated, but also meant not rushing to get to the next before it was time OR involved building the business plan now, learning from others and not just stepping into a launch you may not be fully ready for. It's planning for the next but living in the now.

_____________________

"He has planted eternity in the human heart but even so people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end..."vs 11.

So what does that mean? We are stuck in the matrix or we are pawns in this game called life that God plays for amusement? ( trust I've had these thoughts so you aint alone), no, instead it reminds us we do not have the foresight or the ability to see everything in play. As much as we plan, sow and build there really are no guarantees but we do so anyway because of the principle of seasons.

The principle being, that indeed what you do sow you will reap and that there is a set time for everything. This principle is not meant to constrain you but cause two things to hopefully happen 1. Seeking God for direction and 2. Having sensitivity to the season you are currently in. Now seasons can be described in a myriad of ways like a "season of singleness" or a "season of laying low" or a "season of action" but for the purpose of today's blog I'm going to be breaking it down into these seasons: Season of Sowing, Waiting Season and Harvest Season with the focal point of the Harvest Season.

So growing up in the church, one phrase that is heavily tossed around is

" This is your harvest season"

and the crowd always goes wild, everyone is excited like, Yassss we getting that house, that car, that spouse, that job etc. Bring out the champagne and cut the cake!!!

Yet!

One, it may not actually be your harvest season..so like this doesn't apply to you yet (sorry) lol. Secondly, a lot of times harvest season seems only to be materialistic and the only avenue to joy, which discredits and devalues the other seasons, causing many to move in haste. More importantly, no one talks about the work you have to do in the harvest season, or that harvest season is less about the end goal and more about removing what has matured and placing it in the environment where it can thrive. So many of us do not really understand what harvest season is about and as a result, we squander it , don't appreciate it or poorly manage it.

 According to google, some root crops and tree fruit can be left in the field or orchard and be harvested as needed, but most crops reach a period of maximum quality—that is, they ripen or mature—and will deteriorate if left exposed to the elements. You cannot leave something that is mature in the same place that is purposed solely for growth.  The longer you stay there, your potency deteriorates, your influence deteriorates, your goals stop aligning, a new frustration rises.  You end up dragging out a good thing into a season it is not meant to be in and what was once good becomes a curse or a barrier in that season. The new Israelites could not stay in the wilderness past their mature point. They had to go to the next, to exercise their faith, but to also utilize what was matured in a setting where it would be useful. In that it produces a new seed of confidence needed for a next cycle.

You have to dig up the promises, you need to till the land, pick up the fruit, do the tasks, study the job, put up the posts, right the script, get the products, learn the copywriting, do the work related to the promise. Again the promise land is not a place of just sitting, rest does not refer to bliss, it refers to standing on the revealed promise. It is seeing the actualization of your faith being brought to life, it is the victory indeed but then a new cycle begins, you have to keep the land, maintain the land, enable it to be fruitful, till the soil. When the Israelites for example got to the promise land they had to still fight and claim the land, it wasn't just sitting there, however because it was the set time for them to live in the promise land they had the tools developed from the sowing and waiting season to be victorious in capturing and being fruitful in the land.

This is the principle of time and seasons.

1. We work in time and seasons and not in calendar years. Take the pressure off and envy no man.

2. It is important to be AWARE and SENSITIVE to the season you are in to know how to move accordingly. So if it is your season to REST, REST! If it is time to MOVE, MOVE! Lean into your season.

3. Harvest season is less about the end goal and more about removing what has matured and placing it in the environment where it can thrive.

4. There is work to be done in harvest season- stand on the revelation of the promise and work the ground

xoxo

THE ART OF LETTING GO

“May the Petals teach me the art of letting go”

— XAN OKU

So what do you call a person who is in the middle of the extreme hoarders on TLC and people who just throw away everything with no care in the world?? When you find out let me know coo?

Ye I am the person closer to the hoarder side BUT I AINT CRAZY LIKE THEM I SWEAR LOOOL!! I just LOVE keeping memories, looking over things, reminiscing. I have my report cards from kindergarten and on going grades, yas I am very much THAT girl! I can watch a movie or a show that I love a gazillion times. Every time I have had to move my mom is like begging me to go through my stuff and throw out what I don't need and I often tell her there is nothing to throw away looool as you can tell we are opposites there and it grinds her gears.

( Most things in our storage are my things ::shrugsshoulders:: sue me loool).

Nonetheless, you can imagine my memory then is of course sharp so I remember a lot and hold onto a lot which is a blessing and at times a curse.

__________________

Sometime in April, I had the most random thought about Lot's wife. Lol yes I know strange right, like I wasn't doing a bible study on Genesis, hadn't heard a preaching none of that, I just really started thinking about her like I knew her from back in the day. I’m like “Yo! that absolutely sucks that she got turned into salt just for looking back".

The joke is I could relate, my I need to know, I want to see ass would have turned to look at the burning city without hesitation. However, can we really blame her though?! That was her home, her city, the place she met with the ladies to wash laundry, the place she gave birth to her daughters, where she laid by her husband or danced in the street and now she is  supposed to just look forward like it didn't mean anything?!!! Like come on! You would turn back too!

The word that God had been speaking to me that week and is resounding again as this year is drawing to a close is about looking ahead and moving forward.

2020 on a global scale has been UNREAL, year of vision is the understatement of the year. Fears of WW3, the loss of giants like Kobe, Gianna, Chadwick, Sean Connary, the COVID-19  global pandemic, lockdown and all its antics, loss of jobs, virtual everything , economic crisis, food insecurity, the rising tensions of racism in first world countries, the fires burning in African countries and the list goes on and on. It literally felt like we were in the game Jumanji ( if you have never watched this movie, I beg. stop, go and watch then come back... Oh! I mean how?? and the original please). It felt like the year would never end. Yet here we are in December closing a chapter to a most unprecedented year.

On a personal level though, 2020 has been a year of wonder and God's providence, a manifestation of all the work in a prior season of obscurity coming to the fore, taking risks and seeing it pay off. Yet even among the balance of the good and bad, the message remains: LOOK AHEAD AND LET GO. In April when I had the thought about Lot's wife, I did a little digging into that particular scripture and broke it down and I want to share a bit of my findings. For those unfamiliar with this bible story it is found in Genesis 19.

 Sodom and Gomorrah is not it at this time, like God isn't having it and He wants to wipe it off the face of the earth Thanos style. Abram beseeches God to give them a chance to save at least the righteous ones that is including Lot and his family. All in all, though God granted that grace there is none ( like they couldn't find not one family aside from Lot's which should again give you the understanding of the grave depravity in the cities). Angels literally had to pull them out and when they did, they told Lot and his family to run to the nearest wilderness lest they get wiped away. Lot says he can't go there but there is a small village they can take refuge at. The angels grant the permission but they say something I found pivotal in vs 21: " All right" the angel said, I will grant your request. I will not destroy the little village.

But hurry! Escape to it, for I can do nothing until you arrive there".

Various revelations come to mind,

a.) The angel could be referring to the fact that until they moved, the angels would be delayed in them destroying Sodom and Gomorrah until they go to the village,

b.) It is also possible and this is what stood out to me that the angel cannot do anything for them until they reach that village.

It made me think of the pain and delay of looking back. God cannot push forward to the next while you are busy looking back. He cannot take you to the next level if you do not move to the next. For a memory collector, Miss hold onto the little good I get, review all the bad I endure in cycles, this word was heavy. 

The reason it is so easy to hold on to the past is because of the element of certainty and the fear of change. The promise of safety and the fear of the unknown has us clinging to what is and was, meanwhile internally there is a tug of war occurring between our old self and the next season of life. A decision has to be made to either endure the pain of staying the same or the pain of change. Almost like snakes we have to recognize and almost accept in the natural human cycle the act of shedding is part of the requirement of our life journey. Removing old layers of self to make room for the new and to shape us for the next season we are to embark on.

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To let go is to TRUST that what is ahead is better than what you are leaving behind. It takes one step. You won’t have all the answers but FAITH REQUIRES ACTION.

Your job is to move, His is to act.

Your job is to trust, His job is to fulfill.

Your job is to let go, His job is to restore.

Your job is to release, His job is to expand.

There is an urging for me to look ahead, I know the past hurts, and there are some answers I don’t have, but I can't afford to be Lot’s wife.

Don't risk looking back and severing your future. It was a hard, literal message, but it was needed to have a visceral impact in the lives of that family and us the future readers of that word. How many countless times have you and I missed out on a opportunity whether that be a person, thing or advancement because you are living in the past? No more chile! We got to keep moving!

As this is the last post for the year, what I hope to leave with you as we journey into the next season is the art of letting go; Trusting there is more on the other side.

It seems like you have lost all control, but you haven't, you have just entrusted it in the hands of someone greater and wiser.

 Until 2021,

XOXO

Yours Truly,

Barbara Otabil

EYES ON THE PRIZE PRT.II

“Authenticity will pave the way...”

— Barbara Otabil

After the last post, eyes on the prize

( If you haven't read, I strongly suggest going back),

I really took a step back and asked myself those questions from the takeaway. As much as I write to encourage y'all, the messages are also mirrors for me. Reflection points to ensure I practice what I preach. Reality check points that help me stay aligned especially as life gets hazy, situations arise, things knock you back a step... The distractions that keep you down.  

I’m going repeat this quote again,

"People miss out on working in purpose not because they don't have vision but because they have lost their focus".

Fixed focus at that; aiming at a target and moving towards it, IN SPITE of the winds of distractions that WILL BLOW.  Your vision must be clear but your focus needs to be sharp.

Reality check:

Every journey you embark on will have trials, will have testing points, some that seem utterly uncalled for or unfair, others that are fruits of cycles, others that are just a part of getting to the other side. These moments, as difficult, heart wrenching and frustrating they may be, are meant to either to teach you, remind you and/or strengthen you. There are other distractions though,  that simply require awareness and discipline and that side of the spectrum is the focus of today.

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Distractions are like the wind, we feel its impact, it sends chills down our spine, it shifts our focus because naturally we will look toward the direction of the wind. It is real. Let me say it again, distractions are real.

The upside?

Distractions are meant to be temporary. Wind is an entity whose main characteristic is its ability to move, it is not meant to be stationary. The problem becomes when we start chasing the wind aka distraction and move away from our target. As a result, we change our course and find ourselves further from the goal.

A person ready to step out of the boat knows the winds are real and feels the winds but chooses to keep looking ahead.

There is an exhaustive list of distractions that are specific to the individual, but I want to share 3 that hit close to home at certain points in my life.

1. COMPARISON,

   but more so the seed of comparison, which is the feeling of being INADEQUATE. This heavily tied to my imposter syndrome; the feeling of not measuring up in comparison to others and not necessarily out of a jealous nature but out of feeling I was missing out or I was delayed. Yes, I was the one who had the life plan all typed up and ready to go, research done, files created, I just needed to accomplish them in that specific order and at that specific time ( God was probably doing the deepest eye rolls I swear lool). Then I would hit a step back and watch someone else reach the goal and begin to question why I was not there, or why I wasn't going fast enough or putting myself down. As you can see my eyes would drift from my goals onto someone else's that was specifically designed for them, leaving my own dry and untended. The problem with comparison aside from desiring something that isn't meant for you or going off the track, is that comparison cheapens your own goals and purpose. You devalue the very thing that is meant to establish and propel you, to play roles and positions you were not either meant for or prepared for which in the long run leaves you more frustrated, empty and exhausted. Which goes back to my earlier message of owning the call. Embracing what is yours because no one else can do you like you; walk into those rooms, design, build or love like you can. There is so much oil in being authentically you.

2. UNFORGIVENESS,

   Yeh, very unexpected distraction in relation to walking in purpose but such a lethal element that has a lot of us trapped. You see unforgiveness is a problem because it mixes our motives in our "why's", it dilutes the potency of impact because it is laced in wanting to prove something instead of just doing what you are called to do. It shifts our focus and our energy to demonstrate to whomever on the other side that you are worth it. Unknowingly, you now tie your effectiveness and worth to their approval or notice, not realizing it is a detriment to your own growth and your reach. To be honest, it just gets exhausting especially when they don't react the way you hope in order to feel vindicated. Instead you have quite frankly wasted your time. The greatest thing you can do is to release yourself from the shackles of justifying who you are and simply just be. Recognizing it is not easy to let go but knowing holding onto unforgiveness is poison for your own soul that will only cripple you and not them. You are too valued to disintegrate into a pool of unforgiveness.

3. LACK OF SOLITUDE,

   Too much noise, not enough reflection. We are constantly bombarded with the opinions of others, self doubts, societal pressures, social media, just to name a few. Just a lot of clutter for the membrane; over stimulated. Solitude restores our sense of direction; it is a moment to be still, to slow down even for just a second, to just listen, tap into the core of who you are and of course, The Source. I know this is often said but more times then not, the voice of God comes in a small whisper, gentle but firm. Those light bulb moments happen in a flash when you are in tune enough to receive it. Recognizing the season you are in and tapping into it effectively only happens when you spend time in solitude. There are so many distractions, so much on our plate, so much in our schedule sometimes we just get lost "doing" and the worst thing is to be busy and not fulfilling purpose. Filling up your calendar with to do's, but dry and empty on the inside. Solitude is also not about being distant, ghost or antisocial, it is intentionally spending time with yourself for yourself to recharge, re-center and re-focus. To stop and look at where you are going and why! For some it may come in the form of quiet time or a fast, driving to work with worship music on, for others meditation, journaling, a soothing bath, a walk around the neighbourhood, a solo trip, curling up to a bomb playlist and reading. Whatever form it takes on, it is essential that in those moments you connect to the Father and stay connected to who you are, so that quite frankly, you can keep going.

The walk to purpose is a life long journey, it takes guts, perseverance, patience, trial and error, vision and a whole lot of focus even within the winds of distraction. You will make it through,

JUST KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE PRIZE!

XOXO

EYES ON THE PRIZE PRT.I

“The one who has a ‘why’ can endure any ‘how’”

— David Brooks

Public Service Announcement:

Y'all can you believe it… it has officially been a month since this blog has launched !! WOOT WOOT!!

Listen I gotta celebrate all the wins; big or small, because the planner in me always wants to plan for what's next, I literally have to train myself to live in the moment sometimes and embrace the present so these are one of those moments!!

:: cue " Juvenile's Back that Azz Up" and twerks::

Lol ok, now that I got that out my system lets get into the post shall we?

In my first post, I established that I will be filling a couple of roles:  providing sophistisexy style and giving you prompts while cheerleading you to go forward and today is one of those posts.

I consider myself an ambassador of purpose, realigning how people live their lives by understanding what makes them tick. The journey to purpose however is no easy task, it takes a lot of INTENTIONALITY, first in your mind and now in your sight.

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I came about this quote that states ," what you are and what you become depends on how you use your time.” Time is an expensive currency. You cannot buy it nor trade it, quantify or keep it in stock. We must use it to get to where we want to go by being, you guessed it...INTENTIONAL.

The scary truth is purpose has a timeframe.

In the bible, in the book of Ecclesiastes 3:1 it clearly depicts there is a time or a season for everything.  For example, there is a time you are a infant and in that time, you are meant to grow and adapt to your surroundings, eat specific foods to get the nutrients you need etc., in the same way there is timeframes set for us to accomplish what we are created and driven to do. Let me just add this quick reminder right here,

YOU WERE CREATED ON PURPOSE FOR PURPOSE. You did not just happen to show up, you are not a mistake, your life does have meaning and you do matter. If you ever doubt for a second, please know you were intentionally created and there are people out there who need exactly what you have to offer!

Our role is not to understand it all at once, but the strands of life guide us to fulfill each piece as it comes. It is up to us to steward the time God has given us so we can accomplish the purposes for which we were created.

That is where fixed focus, being authentic and understanding your why come into play and keep us aligned in our purpose. To understand what to focus on, we need to understand why we are focusing on it in the first place.

It is beyond alarming, the amount of people who are caught up in the matrix of life, doing things just because it is what is to be done, yet gaining no happiness, no joy, not even banking any cash because they are caught up in the system, surviving and not thriving.

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Now the argument can be made, " I do not have the luxury to just go and follow my dreams and live in bliss, I got real responsibilities." TRUE!

We must do what we got to do, but at some point, one must ask at what cost, can I forfeit my purpose? 

Your sanity, your happiness, a bitter heart, feeling empty and frustrated everyday? Let's also take the time to clarify, purpose is not quantified by only attaining material things, running businesses, career success, it is the intentional alignment of YOUR PASSIONS, YOUR GIFTS AND YOUR SERVICE that blend together impacting how you do life and how you impact your sphere of influence or the world around you. Your purpose can literally be to put a smile on someone's face or running a fortune 500 company one is not greater than the other, it is about what fits you and what is authentic to your call.

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And maybe that is what is wrong with society, we tend to want to quantify and categorize what makes sense to us, from a perspective of what gains us the most money or popularity , grade things from best to worse and it has millions of people doubting what makes them, them, because it does not look a particular way. People embarking on journeys they were not called to in the first place because of what accolades they may receive but still feeling empty inside and still sucking at it. Like, instead of tasting your delicious cakes you out here launching a wig line???? Sweetie, your own hair doesn't look good, make it make sense lmaoooo ! Don’t do that! Find your own calling and take ownership of that.

My favourite guy Dr. Dharius Daniels states " People miss out on working in purpose not because they don't have vision but because they have lost their focus."  

There is nothing more beautiful than a person who is aligned and understands their authentic flavour.

I really thought, when I looked at my notes, I would be able to sum up these thoughts in one post but as you can see in the header, there is a part two to this where we explore what blocks your focus and keeps you away from the prize. For now let's ponder on these questions until next time:

When is the last time you asked yourself the following:

1. Are you happy or filling fulfilled or maximizing your potential?- not by material things, or by another person but you just being you, all by yourself?

2. Do you feel trapped and why?

3. What are the motives behind WHY you do what you do?

4. If you do understand what you want to do in life, what is stopping you from truly living it out?

P.S If you haven't guessed it, the greatest prize in living in purpose is not the things you gain, it is the person you are becoming in the process.

XOXO

MOUNTAIN OUT OF MOLEHILLS

“... stop the excuses, don’t believe the lies, you’ve gotta make up your mind and try instead of making mountain out of molehills when they not even real....”

— PJ Morton ( Song: Mountain and Molehills)

My prof would be soo proud! Ugh, look at me bringing class lessons to real life ( wipes tear) hahaha.

I am sure by now you can see a theme developing.  If not, let me clue you in: 

By better understanding our mind, we can pursue the visions laid on our heart because our perception is reality and as we learned last week, how we see determines how we move.

Pursuing your dreams, purpose, calling or your everyday goals, is not something that just happens. Its a lot of work, determination, vision, persistence and perseverance but more than anything it is discipline.

Discipline in a lot of areas but mostly in your mind.

By the end of the year, it is my hope that you pay greater attention to your mind.

[Truth Moment!]

Honestly, being more self aware literally changed my life.

It helped me challenge what I expected from my life, get in line with the will of God, be intentional about my actions, appreciate the every day's but most especially, helped me battle my negative thoughts.

My negative thoughts at times had me in a prison. Caged me in a constant battle that I alone could see and feel, and manifested outwardly in so many subtle ways.

It had me battling imposter syndrome, insecurities, fears, the past and I was brutal with it. It was like I had set it to repeat like a playlist on Spotify. It would catch me in the slickest of ways; in the quiet moments, on the drive home or in the shower. There was a lot of chatter going on, that was challenging what I knew and believed and what I saw.  People would say uplifting things to me, sow a word in me and I would take it and break it apart chucking the good and focusing on the "what ifs" or self doubt. I know you feel what I am saying!

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In the last two and a half years, I have been undergoing an intense training if you will, of trusting God with the heavy and light stuff in my life. What I had expected Him to do was either remove and replace, reward and bless, smite and provide justice lmaooo, get me out of feeling stuck and stagnant and all that jazz.

Instead, I was involuntarily enrolled to " Renewal of Mind Bootcamp". Mind you, I did not register for this camp, did not want it, did not ask, I just wanted results cue ::sideeye:: 

Not recognizing, that the results I sought; the healing I wanted, the advancement and favour I was looking for, would be found first, in the transformation of my mind and repairing my perspective that would lend me to being aware of the traps my mind subconsciously created that was stifling my growth and potential.

Mind traps by definition are “thought patterns that blind you from the truth causing you to make errors in your judgement and ultimately your decision making”. According to Psychology Today, it is a combination of an exaggeration of a threat and an underestimation of your ability to deal with such threat!

Finally, it limits your POSSIBILITIES and undermines your resources to cope with INEVITABLE CHALLENGES!

What we need to understand is whatever is worked on the inside will surely manifest on the outside. Insert the clichés: " You are what you eat, What you think, so shall you be, etc..." .

So if I am recycling negative thoughts in mind on a regular basis, please know, how I speak, the actions I take on, the decisions I make, the opportunities that come by, will all be tainted by my thoughts and belief. I mean, no one deep down inside wants to be  stuck in the same place intentionally all their life right? So how do we deal with this?

Lets start with the first step: RECOGNITON.

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Psychologists have discovered that we are not taught to manage our thoughts off the jump. So our brain likes to do a couple of things: Brain chatter, hot thoughts, mental stickiness, time travelling, catastrophizing ( ye say that word three times fast lool), exaggerating the negative and discounting the positive, mind reading, blaming, doing the should's and so on. For today I am just going to define 5 of these and see if you find yourself doing any or a combination of these. Once you do, I challenge you to jot down in your phone, journal, wherever, how many times a day x 1 week you do so and let me know!

Mind Traps

1. Hot Thoughts - negatively skewed beliefs which people have when they are experiencing strong and unpleasant moods like sadness, anger and frustration. In other words reacting in a very over reactive way

Takeaway:  Ask yourself questions that will make you look at the situation objectively to really judge if your reaction is warranted.

2. All or None thinking- Categorize life into two extremes: black and white blinding you from the shades of grey where truth lies.

Takeaway: Listen for when you say words like always, all, never, nobody and everybody

3. Catastrophizing- Forecasting the worst case scenarios without any evidence

Takeaway: Identify the negative prediction and ask yourself where is the evidence of the conclusion you are coming up with

4. Time travelling: Refers to how instead of focusing our attention on what is really happening in the present moment, we engage in the process of ruminating over what has already taken place (in the past), or fantasizing or fabricating what will occur (in the future).

Takeaway: Release the past, Plan for the future, live in the present

5. Mind reading - You are adamant you know what others are thinking and feeling based on your feelings and not facts. Not to be confused with intuition.

Takeaway: Your assumptions are not always the truth. Check the facts before drawing conclusions

IN AGREEMENT

“Truth is the agreement of our ideas with the ideas of God”

— Johnathan Edwards

 I have been thinking a lot about the clichés, quotes, phrases and the verses we state on the day to day that sound nice but when your heart is being quickened, challenged by the drama and loss in your life, they are more like empty words going down the drain. 

I've sat and wondered so often, why I could feel so confident in one moment, full of faith and belief, ready to risk it all, step out, " get out the boat" and then the winds hit, and my mind goes in overdrive and the negativity and over-thinking takes over.

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Introspection is a funny thing because it seems so promising initially, until the internal surgery begins, I have been empowered to know that for example " I am the exception, not better than but different, there is a place to head to by looking forward"  but I still feel stopped, anxious, fearfully, reminded of the loss....out of control?  Sound familiar?

I then realized two things:

One, the words were only hitting the surface and did not reach a place of deep belief and two, it was because I was not truly in agreement with what God had said.

Belief is not an intrinsic feeling. No one just wakes up believing anything right off the bat, it is not something innate that we are born with, actually quite the opposite.

We are born with a deprived nature, a constant search for something to fill us, to make us whole and give our lives meaning.  As we grow, we, our family, culture, social norms, religion etc. train our mind to believe the things we see and know to be true.  

But there is truth and then there is opinion. What distinguishes truth is what the dictionary defines as an " accord with fact or reality". An accord refers to a relationship with one entity to another, working in harmony or consistent with. In essence, there is a relationship between what is seen and known and what is understood and believed. It works in tandem with one another

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One of my favourite teacher’s right now, Dr. Dharius Daniels states in a series called " Waterwalkers"  a profound, simple truth:

How you “see” affects how you move!  

We spend the most time talking to ourselves more than anyone else in this world and thus our beliefs generate for ourselves, a perspective of self or "sight" that we use to guide our actions and our beliefs. So stating something or affirming a phrase has to go beyond just words but move to belief in order to really see it actualize and take form in our lives. In the Bible, the word "darkness" in Hebrew refers to" ignorance" and "knowledge" respectively means "light". When we get knowledge (light), we invade the ignorance (darkness) in our lives and we are “supposed” to move in action to apply what is known, which we call wisdom. However, for most it just sits in a bucket of knowledge.

I've said it before and imma keep saying it , what you feed your mind matters and what you believe changes everything. I'm hammering so much on the functionality of the mind because once you master understanding how your mind operates, you will not just want to get out of the boat you will aim to walk on water.

To take it one step further beyond our sight, lies faith. The belief that goes beyond the natural seeing and that is where agreement with God takes place. Once  God says something about me and I reach that accord with God, what He says no longer becomes something I just read, or what I heard but it becomes truth. This truth then transcends into a belief that I can hold onto and live out. You begin to recognize what He says about you or the quotes/phrases that resonate with you ( because I believe God can use just, anything to get your attention), He is not just revealing what He wants you to know, but revolutionizing your behaviour to do what you are called to do.

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Now of course, having faith isn't easy and the number one reason why affirmations don't always stick beyond repetition, is because there are holes in our faith caused by traumatic experiences, disappointment in the past, lack of exposure, cycles, mistrust, distorted views, betrayal and the list goes on and on. I don't have an one stop fix for these holes, but the first step in the process of mending these holes is to recognize them. Recognize why it is so hard for you to hold onto the belief that you are good enough, recognize why it is so difficult to believe you are capable, confront why it is so exhausting holding onto the vision or dream you have in your life so that you can get in agreement with the truth.

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Being in agreement with what God says about me is what helps me take those Peter “walk on water steps”. I have to be in agreement with God to move and not look back, I have to be in agreement to invoke the power of faith, I have to be in agreement to see the manifestation of everything I am called to be. That I am gifted,  I am worthy of love, that everything will work together for my good. I am in agreement that I have an assignment and there are people, especially girls and women who need my vulnerability, story, life experience to push past the status quo and tap into their purpose and being, to be curious of what makes them, them and not just another pretty face defined by society, men, culture etc.

So, I gotta ask you, when someone bigs you up, when you thumb through your journal, your saved quotes on IG, your screenshots of affirmations and highlighted bible verses….what are you in agreement with?

1. How you see and what you believe determines how far you go

2. The equation for successfully implementing affirmations is: Truth + Belief = Impact

3. Uncover the holes in your belief and begin the process of healing

4. Be in agreement with the Creator

Because I am in agreement with the light, strength, beauty, wisdom and grace within me, I am a sight to behold and so are you !

 

GET OUT THE BOAT CHILE!

“Take your time, but don’t waste your time”

— Lupita Nyongo

Imagine if  Michael Jordan just rested in his first championship win, Serena Williams her Grand Slam, would we know their names?  How about the one who made the first airplane and decided to chill, we would be taking very short, cold flights to nowhere or if Steve Jobs just relaxed after making the first iPhone, we would still be using brick phones in 2020 lool.

Plug and play anything you are using in life and just ask yourself: what if they just stopped at the first accomplishment or what made them "comfortable"? Barring the real fact that obstacles get in the way, the biggest obstacle that we constantly underestimate is usually our MIND.

Our mind is such a precious organ that controls so much of our lives and yet, it is so poorly understood. The brain while complicated, works on basic principles, one being: whatever you feed it, it will in turn produce.

The limits you set on your mind quite frankly determines how far you go, which is why we spend so much time challenging what we know, our ideals and our surroundings. We are constantly shaped by what we believe.

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The biblical reference here is the infamous story of Peter and Jesus walking on water. Peter like all of us, understood the laws of gravity and buoyance but once he saw Jesus on the water amidst the very real realities around him, a limit on his mind was instantly removed. Suddenly…it was possible. We will talk about fixed focus later but for now my first prompt to you is:

GET OUT THE BOAT.

Yes, the boat of comfort, mediocrity, procrastination, perfectionism, self judgment, fear of failure, approval of others, you name it. Get on out!

Now of course the next question is.. how?  How does one get out of the boat?

Ownership.

By you taking ownership of the call or vision, you are taking responsibility, pride and commitment ( ooo a word most don't like to hear!)  of what you are driven to do.

People do not often associate their dreams with ownership, it is usually placed on physical objects and things but for a moment...think about the thing you own that you love soo much, what feelings come out. A sense of pride, assurance, confidence, a determination to keep it, nurture it and care for it. What if we can apply the same sentiments in owning our dreams regardless of the initial obstacles, what if instead it gave way for passion, tenacity, perseverance and favour?

Owning what drives you, what your called to do provides the courage we are often looking for outside ourselves. If you want to succeed, see yourself as an owner with a boss up above whose approval is the only one that really matters.

I was scared that id be too much, my project/vision wouldn’t make sense,  it would be waste of investment but there is a power in owning your call! Stepping in the lane of purpose is a deep sacred place that has been carved specifically for you, with the intention for you to thrive!

Along the route you will have real ones, supporters, destiny helpers, strangers coupled with the doubters, naysayers and haters. What is crazy is that people like to mistake self certainty and contentment with pride or arrogance and will be envious and judge.  But like I said in my last episode, " Dear Queen"," let the Pharisees judge and mock, and you babygirl, you thrive". You have no idea who will be inspired by the very thing you are scared of doing. In little steps or big steps you are a point of reference for someone.

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Time is precious but also a reminder that it isn’t infinite. You will only be as nimble , youthful, sharp, unoccupied, connected as you are right now, have the support or be in the place you are right now and this is not to rush you but to place things into perspective. If you were really honest with yourself right now,  can you say you are truly doing all you can do to walk in your purpose?  I can’t help but be reminded where this quote came from in regards to the life of Chadwick Boseman which then makes me think of Kobe and Gianna, Nipsey and all the legends gone this year. How intentional they were with their time, celebrated and lived in the moments stepping out the boat brought them and how they moved with no limitation, making them the legends they are.

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One more thing, when you finally do get out onto the waters, and you do that thang, take that first step, land the job, get the degree, own the house, launch the business. Don’t get stuck living in your glory days (that is another boat many love to stay in). Imagine if David was just living it up solely based on him killing Goliath and stayed there! He wouldn’t be the best ruler, he wouldn’t have united the kingdom of Israel and Judah, he wouldn’t establish territory, he wouldn’t have created the blueprint for the temple Solomon would have built etc. There is so much more out in the deep. You might be called out of the boat but you got to move!

1. You have more power than you think, your mind needs to go there before you do

2. Own the call- Step into the lane and take authority of the call, it builds the confidence and clarity you need

3. You stepping out into the deep will inspire someone else to own their call. Time is precious don’t waste it.

 It won’t always make sense, the way won’t always be obvious or clear at first,  it may be scary as hell, you may make mistakes, you may succeed but it is worth reaching the next level of your life and purpose.

Come out into the water again, own the call, trust without borders.

THE TIME IS NOW!

It is completely unreal, but wow… the blog is finally here!

:: KIM K UGLY CRY::

Sorry, excuse me, where are my manners, HI! HELLO! WAS POPPIN! If you do not know by now… my name is Barbara ( I mean… it is literally all over the blog, but I digress) and welcome to my blog where we talk all things fashion, purpose, random musings and deep thoughts of the everyday person just trying to make it!

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To say it has been a journey is the understatement of the year, but it really has. Many of you are most likely here due to the debut of my project “ The Barbara Otabil Project” ; others have known me for a while (Hey!). What you may or may not know is, I actually use to blog circa 2012-2013 under the title " La Belle Epoque" which translates to " A Beautiful Era". Had the privilege of working alongside six other fabulous ladies who brought their style and grace to the blog. Unfortunately, life got real and I stopped blogging, but I always enjoyed mixing the art of fashion with writing; going beneath the surface and bringing to light the many thoughts or struggles one goes through.

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Fast forward to now, in the year 2020 for 6 weeks ( Wheew chile, that came and went!), I have been intentionally debuting episodes, pictures and quote inspirations highlighting very real concepts in my life that I have learned and still currently learning, in the hopes that someone like you can relate to, reflect on or simply just appreciate what is before you. That essentially, is the purpose of this blog.

To inspire you to dream again, to be the listening ear your mind and heart needs, to guide in wisdom with Kingdom principles that will help you succeed in everyday life, and to live and confidently be who you are without apology with a whole lot of style and sass. 

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• SOPHISTISEXINESS WITH A DASH OF H-EXTRA LOOOL

• AUTHENTICITY:

  The good, THE REAL and the imperfections

• PROMPTS:

  To trigger you to hold the mirror to your face, NOT to judge or attack but instead reflect and do the inner work that needs to be done to take charge of the future God has set before you

• A CHEERLEADER:

  who wants to push you into living with intention and in purpose, to reignite the fire within you and to break the chains created by past mistakes, circumstances, failures and doubts; living not to survive but to THRIVE

• A TRAILBLAZER:

  To always ask the "why can't it be done" and challenge the limitations.

So again, welcome! So glad you are coming along this journey with me.

Let's step into this life with a little more expectation the way God intended us to!    

xoxo